"You helped me express my fears about what my daughter was going through -- how I was handling the situation and my fear that in my reactions to her, I would cause her more harm by caring too much. Trying to assert control was the wrong approach.
I learned how to step back and to give some feedback and let go, trusting her to go forward on her own.
Working with you helped me to better understand myself. Having someone listen to me helped me process my feelings about myself and my daughter. I've been stronger and a lot happier since then.
When I talk with my daughter now, I think of our conversations, Avis, and how time and a healthier me has helped heal our relationship. I'd like to think my getting help had a positive influence on her by proxy. This can be said also for my youngest daughter who no doubt was impacted by the upheaval in our family.
The strength and better understanding of myself I gained was a positive force for my marriage and my family."
Loranne Weir
Primary Intervention Para
San Ramon, California
"I learned I had a life and a right to go on and that helped my child to go forward.
It was safe to talk about my feelings -- how bad it was. It felt safe to express my hopelessness and to learn that recovery from an eating disorder can take a long time.
Talking about these situations gave me the strength to be more giving and to set limits. Getting guidance from you really helped.
Of all the things I did, the Mothers' Group strengthened me the most and helped me the most."
Pam Copeland
Livermore, California
"It was helpful just simply talking with other moms who were struggling with similar issues. We could look at the issues we had in common and those that were unique.
I found I could stop kicking myself. Perhaps there were things I needed to look at, but I wasn't a bad person.
It was a long time ago and my daughter has made wonderful progress.
A support system for the mom is an important piece of treatment. I've said over and over again that a multi-sided approach is necessary -- the medical, psychiatric and family.
I truly appreciate the contribution you made to my daughter's and our family's recovery."
Name Withheld
Bay Area Psychologist
"It was good for me to sort out what was about me and what was about her.
It helped that I got my act together to give my daughter confidence.
Unless you're a parent of an eating disordered child, you don't get it. That's why it was so good to be in a group with other mothers. We understood each other and we could really talk to each other.
To be in a room with other mothers and see that it wasn't one common thing -- it's about family dynamics, but there wasn't any horrifying thing I'd done.
Moms soak up a lot of guilt -- men don't have the body image stuff. Moms need extra help.
It's really important for moms to get help. Most people don't understand anorexia so the world has a hard time with it.
The fact that you had experience being anorexic was really special. When you said "you need to remember what is going on in her head" and told me how she was thinking, it helped me to understand."
Becky Egan
Walnut Creek, California
